Looking for that perfect Halloween costume that’s both scary and the epitome of cultural relevance? Finally, you can as…The Mansplainer! 

For one reality-defying night, you (yes you, female-identifying human) can be the authority figure on every single subject brought up in conversation! Impossible to imagine, right?!

Just follow these super simple instructions:

1. Choose your Mansplainer: Mad(dening) Libs template…in this season’s most fun and flirty colors! (Click to download and print.)

2. Fill in the maddening blanks with your estrogen-powered brain.
But not too much original thought, obviously.

3. Pin it to your shirt
Pro tip: place it strategically so as not to cover up any of your womanly assets. No one likes a shapeless, androgynous blob!

4. Celebrate Halloween as the testosterone-fueled superhero the world needs more than ever! 

5. But you may be thinking…”I’m more social media than a social life. This costume isn’t for me!” We see you, Meme-moiselles! Just download our Instagram Story templates, and post your post-modern feminism! 

BONUS STEP: If you’re feeling extra empowered, use the blank templates, and channel that man-brain for once! 

And rest assured, ladies, everything will return back to normal on November 1st. So the pressure to be this “all-knowing leader of society” and “ultimate judge of worthy thought” is only temporary!

Design by the incomparable Brooke Roderick.